feeding my own misguided insanity

Lessons I've Learnt from various Relationships

December 8, 2014 Shem Radzikowski No Comments

This is a collection of the lessons I’ve learnt as a result of being in various relationships throughout my life. The original list was released as a daily installment on social media some time back, but I’ve decided to include them here in bulk for general consumption.

  1. I’ve learnt I’m patient beyond what I previously thought.
  2. I’ve learnt that I’m strong enough to survive anything the world throws at me.
  3. I’ve learnt that people don’t change unless they want to.
  4. I’ve learnt that irrespective of how much two people love each other, sometimes love alone is not enough.
  5. I’ve learnt that one emotionally mature person in the relationship won’t make it work.
  6. I’ve learnt that I have an inexhaustible capacity to give love and support.
  7. I’ve learnt that I need to stop sacrificing my own emotional needs for the sake of peace.
  8. I’ve learnt that having the skills in preventing a fight are more important than making up.
  9. I’ve learnt that life always gives me a helping hand when I most need it.
  10. I’ve learnt to use other people as mirrors to help me better understand myself.
  11. I’ve learnt that anything can be forgiven and then, should be forgotten.
  12. I’ve learnt that in order to be happy, you must look to the future and not the past.
  13. I’ve learnt that I can read between the lines and see things that others can’t.
  14. I’ve learnt that I’m emotionally intuitive and that one plus one is always two.
  15. I’ve learnt that violence is a sign of immaturity and an inability to deal with emotions.
  16. I’ve learnt that the little voice in my head is there for a good reason – I should listen to it.
  17. I’ve learnt that I prefer peace and harmony over hostile excitement.
  18. I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t confuse passion with fighting.
  19. I’ve learnt that nurturing physical contact is as important as the emotional connection.
  20. I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t feel guilty for needing time to recharge.
  21. I’ve learnt that regular time apart can be good for the relationship.
  22. I’ve learnt that the way people behave during life emergencies and stress is a good indicator of how they will deal with emotional problems.
  23. I’ve learnt that an advanced degree or a person’s age is a very poor indicator of emotional maturity.
  24. I’ve learnt that two small issues have the same weight as two large ones, ignoring either is just as disastrous.
  25. I’ve learnt that two people shouting isn’t an indication of how much they care about each other, but that they still haven’t learnt how to listen.
  26. I’ve learnt that logic and rational thought always trumps reactionary and emotional outbursts.
  27. I’ve learnt that setting personal boundaries and enforcing them is a sign of self-respect.
  28. I’ve learnt that I only want to be in a relationship with someone who accepts responsibility for their actions, makes independent decisions and is financially independent. My definition of an adult.
  29. I’ve learnt that those who make demands or feel entitled to resources without first contributing towards their attainment, are nothing more than freeloaders.
  30. I’ve learnt that keeping a relationship together is not the same as being in a working relationship.
  31. I’ve learnt that the moment we start looking back at a relationship, is also the moment we stop making plans for the future.
  32. I’ve learnt that pretending to enjoy something for the sake of the other person isn’t going to bring you closer together.
  33. I’ve learnt that you should not mistake eating and sleeping for things that a couple has in common.
  34. I’ve learnt that love is always a gamble, you’re short changing yourself unless you spin the wheel and go all in.
  35. I’ve learnt that safety within a relationship is worth more than being safe on my own.
  36. I’ve learnt that jealousy is a good indicator of whether I feel vulnerable in a relationship.
  37. I’ve learnt that the lack of vulnerability in a relationship indicates that a person is still protecting themselves.
  38. I’ve learnt that family and friends don’t care who you’re in love with but are happy when you are and sad when you’re not.
  39. I’ve learnt that travelling the world is a great experience, sharing it with someone is even more rewarding.
  40. I’ve learnt that my own sanity is more important to me than any relationship.
  41. I’ve learnt that when deciding whether to stay in a relationship, you should count the good effortless moments, not the effort that was spent on keeping it together.
  42. I’ve learnt that nothing lasts forever, or stays the same.
  43. I’ve learnt that it is my inner peace that presents in front of me a steady stream of emotionally retarded & unhinged women desperate to quell their own inability to silence the destructive rhetoric slowly driving them insane.
  44. I’ve learnt that relationships can be as complex and dynamic as the people who form them.
  45. I’ve learnt that some relationships reveal to us a complex web of inextinguishable connections that transcend time-space to continue on another plane.
  46. I’ve learnt that two people separated by great distances can find each other by losing themselves in the infinity of the starry sky.
  47. I’ve learnt that it is impossible to expect one person to embody the role of lover, soul-mate, friend and confidant without eroding some desire.
  48. I’ve learnt that genuine sexual desire cannot be negotiated by compromise or appeasement.  It either is, or is not.

, Thoughts

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