My mailbox fills up with all sorts of job offers on a daily basis but from time to time the search algorithms used to scan through CV repositories get it completely wrong; on this occasion I couldn’t resist replying.
Dear Recruiting Officer,
Oh most definitely, I’d be perfect for the job of Administrative Assistant at Antique Fabric & Lace.
I love using Microsoft Word and have great Excel skills – especially on Windows 2007. I’ve also been able to operate the mail-merge feature which would help you with direct-mail marketing – but that was with Office Millennium Edition and I’m not sure if I can still do it.
When the situation requires it, I’m able to operate two mobile phones simultaneously by using the hold button so I’m sure I wouldn’t have any trouble with your sophisticated corporate multi-line phone system.
You may also be interested to know that I’m in possession of three full-height filing cabinets in the basement of my house which would be perfect for all your filing needs – $12.99 per month seems like a fair rental charge but we can work on the exact pricing after my placement.
One of the requirements you listed for this job was multitasking, but since my name doesn’t lend any clues as to my gender, I may require on-the-job training to fully grasp multitasking. Also, about a year ago I underwent a knee operation and may have some trouble with running errands – I hope these two small deficiencies won’t hurt my chances in getting the job.
I look forward to your prompt response.
From: Antique Fabric & Lace [mailto:[removed]@Antiquefabriclace.org]
Sent: Monday, 13 June 2011 00:26
Subject: Admin Assistant /Personal Assistant Needed
How you doing ? I am the official Recruiting Officer for Antique Fabric & Lace in Auckland City,Auckland ,New Zealand.We saw your resume on Eurojob,Our company is looking for a highly organized individual to work from home as our administrative assistant.
You need to have at least 2 years of office experience.
-Must have general Microsoft Word and Excel skills -Must be able to operate a multi-line phone -Must be able to multitask -Must have a professional demeanor
Duties Include: filling, answering phones, running errands, general clerical work If you are available kindly reply back on time
I await to hear back from you as soon as possible
Antique Fabric & Lace
ASB Building, 268 Great South Road,
It is the policy of Antique Fabric & Lace . to provide equal employment and advancement opportunities to all colleagues and applicants for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, age, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, disability, genetic
Since the original posting, it turns out that a few other people have been receiving similar mails. This most probably indicates that the mail was a scam right from the beginning. Interestingly enough, the domain name has vanished completely from the Internet.